Corporations Against Democracy
Corporations Against Democracy
Welcome to CAD!
If you are a corporation and find it frustrating trying to progress the interests of yourself because of inconveniences of democracy, please join us!
Highlights of Recent Accomplishments
SEE 'Elections of 2014': How we have a grand opportunity to further bulster our oligarchy!
- Elections now mostly inconsequential:
Citizens United vs. Federal Election Commission we corperations are now people! Yeah! Money wins! Peasants no longer get paid much attention thanks to us corporation citizens united.
And now we corporations are recognized as the people we are. It's nice to be validated!
- Dick Army's Freedom Works works to make a Tea Party army of Dicks'. Dick waves the shiny objects in front of those peasants and they go into the trance on cue.
- Electronic voting machines that can bump off people with names kind of like felons if they might not vote the way we like. Ace in the hole: use Microsoft Windows operating system to make it much more plausible if we need the "bugs" excuse (if we get caught) to explain skewed tallies.
- Military Commissions Act of 2006: any peasant who gets in the way can be branded a terrorist: "may be determined to be an unlawful enemy combatant by a Combatant Status Review Tribunal or another competent tribunal." This is kind of our silver bullet. We can use it as soon as our tribunal is competent.
- They have to buy what we want them to buy:
- The US housing bubble and derivatives scheme by investment banks has helped people like
Walmarts among us can more easily hire all those
newly unemployed peasants at bargain rates thereby keeping prices so low that local competition goes out of business and so peasants have to buy from the Walmart type people. Way to go, Wally! Once Walmart starts renting rooms in the back for associate's new homes, it will be just like the great ol'
robber baron days, where it's legal again for us to rob peasants. Cool!
- Monsanto will sue the pants of any peasant that even thinks about planting any other seed but Monsanto's. Most patents in the US are only good for 17 years, and then protection expires. But Montsanto has so much money to burn on laywers it can take a few patents, shuffle the deck every year to make combinations of the few and then combinations of the combinations year after year so that there's always a buttload of patents just 17 years away for expiration...even if there are not so many inventions.
- Should any of those pesky peasants try to start a boycott, we've got the emergency Presidential order that every President has signed going back to the 1970's: The Antiboycott Law and the corresponding Office Compliance to enforce it. The State Department even tells some people that it has expired while peasants get fined thousands of dollars just for not knowing about the law if the Office of Compliance finds out. This insures market stability regardless of peasant opinion of us corporation people.
- We're grabbing water rights around the world, including all across these freedom loving United States. And with the accompanying laws against collecting rain water, pretty soon every toilet flush will enrich us even more!
- Death Threats Against Michael Moore
- Many peasants are experiencing reduced intellectual capacity
- Fox news continues to have viewers.
- We've squashed nearly all of the few remaining independent investigative reporters. The others now can focus on more productive things: investigate celebrity gossip and pass on our promotional press releases instead.
- We're about to eliminate postal service competition in many parts of the USA, with US post office closures coming in much of rural America. We have had substantial success via congress and Presiden Bush in
forcing the USPO to pay 75 years ahead of time for health care,
creating an artificial crisis that we can blame on them as being failures, thereby pushing aside one of the most successful self funded government entities and simultaneously touting industries superior efficiency. Damn, we're brilliant! Though we're still not sure what Fedex, UPS and others will do about "the last mile" of package delivery, since industry can't cost effectively deliver these and relies on the USPO to do it....oops!.
But Our Work Is Not Yet Done
So, if you are a corperation person, please find it in your heart to join our cause. Buy your politicians, judges, police and other government power people today. You'll be glad you did, and you'll be doing it in the best interest of our corperate freedom. Freedom on the march!
- Occupy Wall Street Spreads Worldwide: We tried dismissing them as hippie scum, poorly educated youth, disgruntled unemployed, goaless and clueless, thieves, girlie men, angry women, pot smokers, old fogies, has beens, losers, intellectually elite,...well we've mostly included 99% of the population at this point...oops.
- We need 100% 24-7 domination of all peasants.
- The genie's out of the bottle:
Though we have had success in passing a law to outlaw the discussion, documentation or other dangerous aspects of exposing animal cruelty of these and many other industries, namely The Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act (and managed to associate PETA with porn), we still have not found a way to make it illegal for people to eat seeds and roots insead of animal flesh in the general public. We need to follow the French, freedom fries aside, in that there's a new
French Law: All School Meals Must Include Animal Products. Touche!
- Diet as a focal point of health maintenance and disease mitigation is spreading like wild fire. While our efforts to contain this fire has been quite successful for several decades, it is starting to get out of control. There are
with a rapidly growing segment of the population
- documentaries such as
- books such as
- radio shows like
This is wreaking havoc on too many of our important constituents:
- losing weight,
- stopping medications,
- no longer buying meat,
- slowing the onset of the top chronic and deadly diseases,
- and exchanging notes.
- American Meat Institute,
- National Boiler Council,
- National Cattlemen's Association,
- National Livestock and Meat Board,
- National Meat Association,
- National Milk Producers Federation,
- National Dairy Council,
- National Pork Producers Council,
- National Turkey Federation,
- United Egg Producers,
- American Cancer Society,
- the pharmaceutical industry,
- other petrochemical industries,